More Breakfast Ideas
I am on a continuing quest for the perfect breakfast. I need to be able to make it in advance and reheat it at work, it has to be cheap, high protein, low carb, and healthy. Eggs fit these criteria, but I honestly don’t like eggs much. I’ve tried a few different ways to dress them up, and here’s another attempt.
I found this picture on pinterest, and it looks like something I can not only manage to cook, but would also eat. The original post is a little vague on the details, and after making them myself, I have some advice. Don’t I always?
- Use the biggest onion rings possible, or tiny eggs. I had a lot of trouble fitting the eggs into the rings.
- Cut your onion rings at least 1/2 inch thick, to help hold in the eggs.
- It might help if the pan is pretty hot when you crack the egg into the onion, because I had egg running out the bottom all over the place.
Basically, I had egg running out the top and bottom, and all over the pan. These were pretty good when freshly made, and they’re ok reheated. I put American cheese on top, then microwave them, and they’re edible. I think I’m going to stick with my mini frittatas in the future, though.
Glitter Heels
If you haven’t noticed, I am completely fixated on Pinterest. They have so many crafting and DIY ideas, my hands will never be idle again. Unfortunately, not all the ideas work out for me. I saw this idea of how to fix some worn-looking heels:
I went so far as to actually read the instructions and everything. The original author used Mod Podge and fine glitter. I tried a couple other things before following her method. A few of you know this, but I have a fear/hate relationship with loose glitter. I believe as you use it, you accidentally inhale it. It then settles into your lungs, causing scarring and ultimately death. I call this condition “Sparkle Lung” or “Crafter’s Lung”.
Because of my paranoia, and my love of lung function, I tried glitter already in paint form. This does nothing, so don’t bother. I also tried the glue you see here:
That crap is WAAAAAYYY too thick, and it has all these warnings about not using it on varnished furniture, so that was disturbing. I only attempted to use this on one of the heels, but it was a disaster. So here we are, back to the Mod Podge. You are supposed to make a really thick paste with the Mod Podge and glitter, then paint it onto the heels, like so:
Even after 2 coats, and letting it dry thoroughly in between, my results looks nothing like hers. My shoes now have glittery tumors all down the back. One of them is worse because I experimented with that terrible glue first, but the other one isn’t much better.
I don’t know if the color of glitter I used is the problem, if there wasn’t enough glitter in my paste, or if there was too much. Either way, shoes that were looking shabby are…still looking shabby. I don’t really know what to do with them at this point. Poor shoes. I should have used my old stand-by: Nail Polish!!
It’s a Pirate Party!
For Hubby’s pirate birthday, we had lots of food, and alcohol, and a couple essentials: Pirate’s Booty –
– and oranges, to prevent scurvy. It’s awful when guests start dropping teeth all over the floor.
The food, decor, and music were all great, and even our non-piratical friends had fun.
Flapjack was having too much fun to hold still.
We had scarves, eye patches, and paper hats for those of our mates who are not as nauticalliy oriented as we are, and of course Hubby has the most epic pirate costume of all. There is a lot of my blood, sweat, and tears in that jacket of his, literally.
Costumes are just so much fun, and so many of our friends costumed-up spectacularly. I wish I was better at remembering to take pictures at these things! If you were there and have pics, let me know and I will add them on here.
Purse Repair
I have this purse that I made more than 10 years ago. At the time, I realized that I had begun collecting purses, not out of the desire to have a collection, but because each one was not quite right. I was the Goldilocks of purses: this one was too small, that one was too big, this one didn’t have enough pockets, etc.
The only way to end the vicious cycle, and avoid being buried alive in purses was to make my own purse specifically to fit my needs. Also, I wanted to brag about it. And I still do. As you are witnessing right now.
The problem is after 10 years of hauling my crap around, the purse started to have some issues, like this gaping hole in the side:
I was worried the whole thing would give way, because the hole is directly under the strap. So what’s a clever chick to do? Fix it! By the way, this purse is made from a pair of pants that shrank IMMEDIATELY in the wash, and I never got to wear, a t-shirt that shrank after I wore it to death, a belt, a Batman I cut off a child’s t-shirt, and fabric scraps. See? I have always been this crafty and cheap thrifty.
A friend of mine happened to be getting rid of some denim scraps, so I gave them a good home. I think more of them will show up here eventually. I cut a long rectangle of denim, folded it in half, and tucked all the edges inside. (At this stage, make sure it’s big enough to cover the hole). I then sewed all the way around it. Doing it this way makes the patch extra strong, and seals the raw edges inside so you don’t have to worry about it unraveling.
Next, I pinned the patch inside the purse, over the hole, and sewed it thoroughly to the purse. I stitched the purse strap to the patch directly to make sure the weight of the purse is evenly distributed, and the connection is strong.
This is what it looks like from the outside. I know most of the time when you’re patching things, you don’t want to see the patching. To that I say, “Meh”. This gives it character, and anyway that hole is so raggedy I don’t have any idea how I could have patched it invisibly, other than getting a Robin patch to go over top. And come on, Robin is a dork.
Here’s the final view of the inside. I used lots of stitches, and short pieces of thread, so that if one breaks, there are others to keep the patch in place until I can repair it.
I have used this method for patching blue jeans, too. It works great if you can find a close color of denim, because then it looks intentional, like those super expensive torn jeans the kids are wearing these days. Those kids, with their Rock Music, and their terrible clothes they stole from my generation! *Shakes fist in general direction of youths*
Further Quilt Repair
I just so happened to find a chunk of quilt at some thrifting something I was at awhile back. Someone had taken a commercially made quilt, I think from Target, and cut a chunk off of it. I got the chunk for a couple bucks. It’s long and skinny, the perfect length and width for laying on the couch! Booyah, person who gave away their quilt chunk! What were you thinking?
Of course, there was one long edge that was just open to the world, and we can’t have that. How indecent! So I took it to the craft store with me and pipcked some quilt edging that matched. The important part of this terribly blurry-because-I-craft-at-night picture is where it says “Extra Wide Double Fold”. There are several kinds of this stuff (quilt binding? quilt edging? I’m not sure), but the double fold means that this thin strip of fabric is folded in half, and in half again, so that the edges are all tucked inside. I prefer the look and feel of that to the single fold. And be careful, because there is some that’s not folded at all, and I don’t even see the point of that.
Flapjack has fallen in love with this quilt btw, and was an adorable impediment the entire time I was working on it.
I opened up one package of the binding, and started jamming it onto the edge of the quilt. This process is a bit tricky. I left an extra inch or so hanging off the end so I could tuck it in later. Your goal is to get the edge of the quilt pressed into the crease on the binding, so that the binding wraps around the edge. You will sew through the bottom edge of the binding, through the quilt, and through the binding on the other side. My sewing machine can’t handle that, so I did it by hand. (There’s Flapjack again. Aren’t you jealous of how cute my dog is??)
Once I had one whole edge sewn down, I went back, tucked the ends in, and sewed them shut. Here’s the finished end, but I had to use the flash so the colors aren’t great.
The hardest part for me was keeping the central fold of the binding touching the raw edge of the quilt. It kept creeping upwards, so I would end up with very little quilt to sew through. I think I did a pretty good job, other than that. For now, I have only completed on edge, and I’m not sure if I’ll do the others. The colors look cool as they are, and I have to complete NEW crafts for you piranhas. You’re insatiable!
Yard work is terrible
This is what my yard looks like right now. It’s completely ridiculous. Some kind of weed has taken over, climbing over everything in its path.
It has tiny hooks all over it, like velcro, It’s not pleasant to pull out, but it’s fairly easy. Let’s all keep in mind that my yard is completely flat. Those plants are making faux-hills. It also seems to spawn giant moths, that randomly fly at your face when you start trying to weed.
After about half an hour I had cleared only a small patch of ground:
And filled this entire compost bin. It looks like I’m incubating a swamp-thing baby.
I felt like She-Hulk, ripping huge mounds of this stuff out of the ground, but it seemed to have very little effect. The shed is about to be consumed, and Flapjack seems worried.
He has been having a ton of trouble in the yard since the weeds are so high and he’s a dwarf. Also, I might have stepped in dookie.
As an added bonus, this vindictive plant leave tiny, horrible scratches wherever it can grab your flesh. These are made exponentially better when you start cleaning the dookie off your shoes, and the spray bottle of vinegar accidentally coats your arms, leading to a unique itchy-burning sensation.
Why is yard work so awful?
Plastic Bottle Reuse
Once again, I got an idea off Pinterest. Here’s the original idea:
Simply take an empty plastic bottle, cut it like so, and you can hang your device on the wall while it’s charging. That’s a good reuse, but having my cell phone down near floor-level is not very useful to me.
I do, however, have some wires that need to be wrangled, Christmas lights in fact. Some of you know that Hubby and I have decked the interior of our house out in Christmas lights year round, as seen in a few of the pictures in the pirate decoration post. This enables us to make an instant party whenever we want, and makes us the coolest house on the block. In one spot, the lights have to be plugged in through our bedroom doorway, so when they aren’t plugged in they create a horrific tripping hazard. Who has two thumbs and is accident prone? This guy, so I needed to remedy this situation. You will need:
An empty, washed out shampoo or other bottle, and a utility or x-acto knife. In the example above, they decorated their container with scrapbook paper and mod podge, so feel free to go that extra step if the urge takes you. I did not. Cut the top off the bottle.
Once the top was cut off, I ran it through the dishwasher to clean out any remaining shampoo. I then drilled a tiny hole with the x-acto knife.
I crammed the lights inside, and hung it on the wall with a thumb tack.
I didn’t take a picture of the before, because I would have had to vacuum, and in order to vacuum, I had to get the lights off the floor, etc. It’s just a vicious cycle. I “crafted” this light-holder-object in about 5 minutes (not including the run through the dishwasher), and it is so nice not to trip on those stupid lights anymore. Next time I trip I’ll have only my drunkenness to blame.
Happy National Pi(e) Day!
The date today is 3/14, aka 3.14, aka the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. So today, March 14, is Pi Day. I intend to celebrate by buying a pie, because I don’t have time to cook one, and I have to go to the store anyway. Hubby ate all the tortillas. You feel like making a pie yourself? I still have you covered because I AM THAT AWESOME. Follow these simple, yet hilarious and inspiring instructions to make a holiday-appropriate dessert. I’m so amazing.
The Many Faces of Hubby
For his pirate party, Hubby grew out his beard. He does this periodically, and has a ritual when he shaves it off again. He shaves off pieces, and comes out of the bathroom randomly with progressively more ridiculous facial hairstyles. I finally decided to document this process so you can all be as entertained as I am.
Late Night Trauma
Hubby and I have just had a rather harrowing experience. All of this story is true, and I’m writing this a couple hours after it happened, with all of the facts in order as we determined them later. We were at a friend’s house playing board games, when suddenly there was a panicky pounding at the door. The homeowner answered the door and we heard “Call 911! My baby isn’t breathing!”
Our friends’ neighbor had come over in a panic because her 8 day old daughter was having trouble breathing. The neighbor had been breast feeding, when suddenly the baby started struggling to breath. When the neighbor first walked in the door, the baby was bright red and limp as a doll. We were all shocked, and unsure what to do. Travis, one of the homeowners, called 911 right away, but had issues with cell service. He calmly kept after it and reached them, giving them the address and situation concisely.
Over the next few minutes, it became evident that the baby was having trouble breathing, not “not breathing”. The baby momma was a mass of panic. She kept pounding the baby on the back, and saying she wasn’t breathing even though she was crying continuously. She kept flipping the baby from her back to her stomach, and asking us (all childless) what to do. Several of us told her many times things along the lines of “The EMT’s are almost here”, “She’s crying, that means she can breath”, and other reassuring things. None of this seemed to sink in. She kept saying “Please, help me”.
It was a really sad situation, and in a way I wish I could have reacted better. I did go over to her and try to sooth her, rubbing her back and telling her that if the baby can cry it means she can breath, and I don’t really know what else I could have done. We were in a position where I felt my friends were “in charge” since this was their house and their neighbor, but the woman was not listening to reason, and was completely flipping out, disproportionately to what was occurring.
The EMTs arrived quickly, and she stood on the porch and beckoned to them. None of us can figure out why she didn’t run over to the ambulance. It was nice weather, they were only across the street, and it’s a cul-de-sac, so there was no traffic. The only explanation for any of her actions is that she was panicked out of her mind. It turned out the baby’s nose was stuffed with snot, which was causing the breathing problems. After the mom gave her baby to the EMTs, she came back into the house holding one of those snot sucky things they give you at the hospital when you first have a baby, and retrieved her cell phone. That’s right, she carried her cell phone over to the neighbor’s instead of calling 911 herself.
Here’s the other thing; her 2-3 older kids (one of the 3 boys that followed her around might have been her nephew or something) followed her into the house we were in, and were trying not to cry. This is perfectly acceptable for their age. I only bring this up to point out that this lady has had at least 2 other babies, and must have dealt with stuff like this at some point. I couldn’t even have a younger sibling without learning that kids hurt themselves, and you can’t panic about it. You have to fix it now, and let yourself be upset later.
The whole thing was stunning and bizarre. Looking back now it’s easy to say that I could have done this or that, but honestly I was scared to. I didn’t know what was wrong with the baby, I haven’t had or handled any babies, especially that young, and (shameful as it is) I did not want to be held responsible if something went terribly wrong. It became evident after a few minutes that the mom was going overboard, and wouldn’t listen to anyone talking to her, but the baby was probably okay.
We (and when I say “we” I mean Sara) did at least try to entertain the three boys who were probably between ages 5 and 8. I think it was completely ridiculous that their mom was flipping out like this in front of them, totally disregarding what they were dealing with. And to have raised at least 2 boys without severe injuries and yet be completely ape-bonkers? This is the other kicker: the neighbor on the other side has multiple children about the same age as her boys. Why go to the house with the twenty-something childless couple when you know your neighbor on the other side has kids? And why not just call 911 yourself in the first place? (She used the phone later to call her husband/baby daddy, so we know it was working).
Overall, I kind of wish I had acted differently, but I honestly don’t know what I could have possibly done. It was evident fairly quickly to all of us childless people present that the baby was crying, so therefore was able to breath. The mom had one of those sucky things to remove all the booger stuff that was choking the baby, and she knew she’d been breast feeding, so there was no chance she swallowed something solid. She should have had plenty of experience with babies already, and had access to a neighbor who also had plenty of experience (at least 3 kids’ worth) that she could call on. She had her own phone to call 911.
Again, all of this being said, I am not a parent, so I have no idea what kind of horrifically blinding fear was running through this woman. Everything turned out okay, so in the end it’s a moot point. I hope I never have to be that scared for a child of mine, but I also hope that I’ll be able to react more rationally than this woman did.
Easy Pirate Party Decorations
Hubby wanted a pirate themed birthday party this year, so in preparation I made a cake, worked on my costume, and of course decorated. For our roomie Lea’s birthday, we had a Western theme, so I built on that to create the pirate theme.
You can make a ton of decorations using nothing but contruction paper and sharpies:
These rock formations were left over from the Western party, and they are now an underwater seascape. Butcher paper is ridiculously cheap, and a great way to add large-scale decorations. Yes, that’s a tiny skeleton at the bottom.
This isn’t a great picture, but Hubby created a sunken ship for the kitchen.
And of course, I’m making schools of tiny, simple fish, and Hubby is creating masterful works of art that will be on our wall for eternity. He’s so talented it’s almost disgusting.
We crammed Mushroom into a shark fin, which he didn’t really appreciate. He hid in the dog crate to show his resentment.
We snagged this awesome pirate ship at the thrift store, and borrowed the skull lights from pirate aficionado friends of ours.
We just already owned this skull rug. Who doesn’t?
Borrowed inflatable treasure chest with thrift store pearls hanging out.
Plastic pirate booty!
More skulls to illustrate the dangers of scurvy.
Death seems to fit into every party we throw. Also, we’re too lazy to take him down.
We already owned this and at least one other pirate flag. Again, I’m sure everyone has this kind of stuff around the house. No? Just me?
I am super proud of this crow’s nest. The nest itself is a broken laundry hamper from the thrift store Hubby spray painted brown. The mast is a cardboard packing tube. You could also use rolled up butcher paper or a wrapping paper tube. Hubby made the pirate flag from contruction paper. The monkey is from the thrift store, and is wearing Flapjack’s Halloween costume hat. The spy glass is borrowed from a friend, but I believe it was acquired at a party supply store.
We used a strip of butcher paper to continue the mast down the wall, and hung white sheets over the railing for sails. We set this whole thing up on our balcony, but this would also be great to set up in an accessible area and use it as a photo backdrop.
All of these decorations are still up, aside from the borrowed ones. It’s so soothing to live in a faux-aquarium.
My Attempts at Cleverness 