Yard work is terrible
This is what my yard looks like right now. It’s completely ridiculous. Some kind of weed has taken over, climbing over everything in its path.
It has tiny hooks all over it, like velcro, It’s not pleasant to pull out, but it’s fairly easy. Let’s all keep in mind that my yard is completely flat. Those plants are making faux-hills. It also seems to spawn giant moths, that randomly fly at your face when you start trying to weed.
After about half an hour I had cleared only a small patch of ground:
And filled this entire compost bin. It looks like I’m incubating a swamp-thing baby.
I felt like She-Hulk, ripping huge mounds of this stuff out of the ground, but it seemed to have very little effect. The shed is about to be consumed, and Flapjack seems worried.
He has been having a ton of trouble in the yard since the weeds are so high and he’s a dwarf. Also, I might have stepped in dookie.
As an added bonus, this vindictive plant leave tiny, horrible scratches wherever it can grab your flesh. These are made exponentially better when you start cleaning the dookie off your shoes, and the spray bottle of vinegar accidentally coats your arms, leading to a unique itchy-burning sensation.
Why is yard work so awful?
My Attempts at Cleverness 